No matter what people say that a person is the master of his life, a lot depends on upbringing. So, if you are the mother of a beautiful girl, raise a future woman, do not make the most common mistakes that ruin her life.
10. You must be ...
As soon as a girl begins to understand the speech addressed to her, she becomes a victim of stereotypes, which, incidentally, have evolved over the centuries. Despite the fact that in the courtyard of the XXI century, a woman still needs to clean up at home, wash dishes, cook, be kind and flexible, like others. This is the wrong approach. It contributes to the formation of defective thinking in a girl. If you educate her like that, soon she will think that without these qualities and skills she has no value for her relatives. Next time, avoid the phrase: "You must." Offer to clean up the room together, cook dinner, do needlework. If you will enjoy the process, the girl will have a desire to learn how to do household chores. Moreover, one should not demand from the daughter that which you yourself cannot stand.
9. Condemning attitude towards men and sex, which is broadcast by her mother
Many girls hear from their mother these words: "He only needs this." The girl begins to think that relationships with the opposite sex, and even more so sex, are dirty. You will continue in the same vein, provide your daughter with a lot of problems in the future. How many women cannot enjoy sex because of the attitude of their mother or grandmother. The point is not only in sex, the fact is that she will not be able to build normal relations, start a family. If you worry about your daughter and want to protect her from early sexual relations in this way, know: this method does not work. A girl can do the opposite, to spite mom or to satisfy her interest.
8. That the formula for happiness consists of “get married and give birth”
This truth is passed down from generation to generation. When the girl reaches adulthood, she is told that it is time to marry and give birth to children, otherwise after 25 it will be too late. Firstly, she is in a state of confusion, for a long time she was told that there was no need to start a relationship with the guys, no need to rush, but now they say that it is time to get married. Secondly, she may not share these views at all. Perhaps she wants to build a career, get on her feet. Now more and more women get married after 30, and give birth at a "venerable" age. It seems that society should get used to it, but no. Everyone will ask why it is so late, talk about the dangers of a late birth, regret it, and give many more unnecessary tips. Never tell your daughter that it’s time to get married, she will figure it out when the time comes.
7. Hyperopeca
Surely you love your daughter very much and are still afraid to let her go out alone, even if she is already 15. Drop your fears, don’t think about the bad, let your child go. She is growing up, she now has her own life, a few more years will pass, and she can leave her father’s house at any time. Remember that hyper-custody will not lead to anything good. The girl will grow up independent, she will constantly be influenced by others. Not always good people will be next to her. Cultivate independence in it, let it become independent and learn to be responsible for its actions.
6. Formation of a negative image of the father
If you are divorced, or your relationship with your husband does not go well, do not tell your daughter about it. Never point out the flaws that she allegedly inherited from her father. Whatever the girl’s father was, but he is her father, and you once chose him among all the men. So it’s not so bad. Even if the situation is very difficult, let the girl not know about it. Otherwise, in the future, she will have problems communicating with men. By the way, very often children blame themselves for the fact that parents quarrel and do not live together.
5. Corporal punishment
Nowadays, any corporal punishment is unacceptable. Gone are the days when children were brought up with rods. Again, many parents are not trying to "invent a bicycle." Why explain, talk, if you can punish. Only then the girl may have problems. She will take the position of a subordinate, her self-esteem will fall. Humiliation will become the norm for her. Yes, never let your husband punish your daughter. Women, for whom the fathers used physical force, choose aggressive men.
4. Underestimation
Do not spare the good words for your daughter. Praise her for her academic success, help with housework. More often tell her that she is beautiful, smart. A girl should know that she is no worse than others. If you do not praise her, do not support her, she may have problems with self-esteem. You do not want this? People who do not value themselves are not able to build a successful career, start a family. Let your girl love herself, then living in this world will be much easier for her.
3. Clarification of relations with the daughter
Never find out the relationship with your husband with your daughter. Children very often are witnesses, and sometimes even participants in high-profile family scandals. The child may just be scared. Plus, girls are more vulnerable than boys. No need to blame each other, call ugly words. You will reconcile, and the girl will worry for a long time. In the future, she may adopt the model of behavior of the mother or father. Quarrels for her are now commonplace, only her chosen one may not like it. Moreover, never allow physical violence in the family. Do not touch your man, and if he allows himself to hit you, maybe you should think about a divorce?
2. Incorrect residence of a puberty girl
This period will be difficult for everyone. Both for the daughter, and for parents. Set yourself up for the best, communicate more with your daughter. It is important to find a balance between “prohibit” and “allow”. Of course, if everything is allowed, nothing good will come of it. However, permanent bans may not have a very good effect on your relationship and on the future of the girl. Set the stage in advance. If your daughter is very small, never ignore her. Talk to her about personal topics, talk about school, friends, relationships with boys. Don't be afraid to talk about adult topics. Then, after many years, your daughter will trust you.
1. Incorrect installation on life
Many mothers aim their daughters on a certain result. In the girl’s head, a plan for a happy life is formed: a gold medal, an institute, a prestigious profession, marriage, children, an ideal figure and appearance. Take care of your life, and bring up the desire for self-fulfillment in a girl. Let her choose a profession and a husband. She will decide for herself in which direction to move. Only such a woman, independent and independent, can become happy. Educate your girl correctly, her happiness is in your hands.